i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
