so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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