Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
