you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
