chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
