his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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