im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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