i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
