My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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