if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
