Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
