we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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