I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
