Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
