how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize