So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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