Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
