Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
