I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
