I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
