What a fucking waste of an outfit
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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