were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
