At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
