we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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