Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize