Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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