i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
