Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
please come you make the beer taste better
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
