i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
