FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
