so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
