Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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