I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
