He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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