New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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