I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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