So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
