so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
