i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
