i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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