3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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