If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
