There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
