As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
