I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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