"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
