Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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