I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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