vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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