idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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