You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
