It's Friday. Sex?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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