worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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