Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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