things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
