i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
