So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
