In the future we'll all be gay
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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