i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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