Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
