chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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