Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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