Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
